I’m a moon goddess..or at least I was

I’m going to get right down to the point. Its been years since I have used any contraceptives like the pill or the patch. The pill, like most women know, makes you bat crazy with all the hormones and well, the patch is pretty much the same..more hormones. I’ve always hated the way they made me feel. Crying over spilt milk..literally. After months..no years of never being consistent in taking the pill (which doesn’t help your cause) and months of wearing a dirty patch on my shoulder, I said enough was enough and dropped the routine completely. Condoms were my only go-to. I try to avoid taking medications completely as it is, so putting hormones in my body to regulate my period was just a no-go for me.

After years of never using birth control it was actually really  neat to see what your body does completely naturally (Obviously I am only referring to women in this post). I noticed that my periods were actually right on the nose down to the day regular, and on top of that they completely synced with the moon cycles. I could pull up a lunar chart and know down to the day when I would get my period during the new moon and when I would be ovulating during the full moon. This alone made me realize how close women are intertwined with nature and natures natural cycle. I don’t think I have ever felt so empowered as a woman since realizing this simple idea.

If you think about it women way back in the day (before certain contraceptives) were pretty much free bleeding. It was just a known fact back then that women bled around the waxing and waning of the moon. This just blows my mind! So for months I was tracking my cycles and educating myself. For anyone else that’s interested there is such an abundance of information online.

You can imagine my surprise when October came and I just missed my period. Yup that’s right, only maybe a week and a half after returning from our honeymoon and I was pregnant. I knew it right away as soon as I realized I was a day late. I gave myself the benefit of the doubt and thought I could just be late, but it was just SO abnormal for me to be late that I couldn’t shake the thought. My best friend bought me a pregnancy test right away and lo and behold, it was a definite positive.

Now I am on a whole other level. Instead of thinking of myself as a moon goddess I am thinking of myself being “in creation” mode; As I am now creating this little being inside me. Creating life is such a beautiful thing. The process however is not. Some women are blessed to have such an easy pregnancy. I unfortunately am not one of them. I was throwing up 4-6 times a day. I was mostly bed ridden for 2 months. Getting up to shower every couple days was a goal not a daily task. I was missing so much work and I would just sleep for hours at a time. Pregnancy so far has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through and I am only 12 weeks in. It may seem super dramatic but lets be honest and say every pregnancy is different and every woman experiences different things.

What happened to that beautiful pregnancy glow that women are supposed to have?! I wanted that glow, instead I feel gross, sick, and unattractive. Its hard not to feel like yourself for so long. I wouldn’t have been able to get through the first 3 months without my husband, my best friend, and my family. Luckily my work was super understanding and suggested Short Term Disability for me so here I am, off until February and enjoying the time at home to rest and create this little human. I am lucky to be coming to the end of my first trimester so all the symptoms are starting to ease up a bit.

You think your in touch with nature when your menstrual cycles sync up with lunar cycles but just wait until you look at the ultrasound and see your baby’s arms and legs move. It all gets so real that your creating life and its beautiful.

baby2

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