Have you ever watched or read Eat Pray Love? One of my favorite scenes is when she’s in Italy and learns the phrase “la dolce far niente” in Italian which means “the art of doing nothing” or “the sweetness in doing nothing”. As I’ve been coming to the end of my time off work I feel as though I have mastered this very mind set. I’m going to be honest and say I had no idea how stressed and anxious I actually was until I was physically removed from my work environment and had a solid two months to focus on my health. Focusing on my health eventually lead to a realization that for the longest time I wasn’t truly loving myself. It was always go, go, go, be productive, don’t be lazy. What I was really doing was running myself into the ground. Stress headaches were an everyday occurrence, trouble sleeping. I’m sure like most people, I couldn’t shut my mind off at night.
After being diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum and going through 3 months of hell, not leaving my bed, and loosing 15 pounds my energy started to return. My Ah Ha! moment was when I was standing in my kitchen at 11:30 in the morning (drinking my 1 allotted cup of coffee a day) just leaning against the counter talking to my husband while he was making himself breakfast and I felt totally content. I was completely happy with just standing there soaking in and appreciating the moment when normally I would be planning the 50 things that I would need to do that day. The phrase “enjoy the little things” took on a whole new meaning in my life. Before when I was stressed I was just doing whatever I had to do to just get through the day and make it to tomorrow. Daily enjoyment was slowly slipping away with a stiff routine.
I learned there needs to be a balance between productivity and self-love. Its about making time for everyday chores and also time for yourself. This time to myself opened up my routine to things like meditation, yoga, reading more, even doing things like napping just because I can! (cause God knows I won’t be sleeping much when the babe comes). With my free time I was able to put more time into meal planning, exploring different healthier recipes, clean eating. Especially after finding out I was pregnant I wanted to eat the best I can and give my babe the best. I also wanted to make sure I didn’t gain an unreal amount of baby weight at the end of 9 months. Clean eating has actually been easy because most of my cravings have included mass amounts fresh fruits and vegetables, pancakes, and yogurt. And when I say mass amounts of fruits I’m not kidding…it gets eaten quick. When I’m craving something savory, which isn’t to often, its poutine or fries (specifically sweet potato fries). When I want something for that sweet tooth I made my own apple crisp with the bags (and I mean BAGS) of apples we buy. I’m really lucky that my husband is being so open to try new things and eat better along with me.
These meals here included stuffed peppers with quinoa and grilled vegetables, cabbage “steaks”, and healthy pancakes made with oats, greek yogurt, banana, and blueberries.
When it came to my 4th month of pregnancy I was finally in a place where I could start to enjoy it. I was noticing my nails were rock hard and growing like crazy, along with my hair. I was nesting hardcore but because we are in the process of moving I couldn’t nest! Nesting turned to packing, which isn’t horrible because we are now super prepared for when we do move in a month or so. I know once we are in the new place I will be right back into nesting and getting the nursery ready. It wasn’t until about week 17/18 that I started peeing like a race horse and feelings movements and kicks constantly.
OH HEY we also found out the gender
We were pretty certain for a long time because EVERY gender myth you’ve heard when it comes to a girl was my situation. Hyperemesis gravidarum, I am squeamish with meat, craving sugar, higher bpm during our doctor check ups. It all pointed to a bouncing baby girl and we were right!
I’m officially half way through my pregnancy and its crazy to think that in 20 more weeks we will have our little gremlin here. Sometimes it still randomly hits me like a ton of bricks that I’m creating a tiny human. My one goal with going back to work is to not allow myself to get into a stressed out routine similar to what I put myself in before. I don’t want to forget this content feeling.