At first I was craving a fresh start, a clean slate in a nicer, newer house with my new baby. It wasn’t until things started falling apart that I realized I can be perfectly happy in what we already have. It’s easy to want new things and a clean slate but sometimes life just doesn’t work out that way and it smacks you back to reality.
After weeks of packing up our house and going from house showing to house showing, endless rental applications, credit checks, sleepless nights (and I literally mean 3-4 hours every night) we were really discouraged that we weren’t finding places to suit our needs or that would even match up to what we already have. Why leave a place to move to another that’s smaller, more expensive, and in a horrible area of town? We promised ourselves throughout this process that we wouldn’t settle and we would only move if we could find something better. It was all about relocating to the other end of town because we both work there and we’d be a little closer to family. In the end we found that we were settling, we were settling to the point that we would have moved forward with any place that would taken us, even if it meant moving to the worst area of town.
With two more weeks left before we were supposed to be out (and seemingly homeless), it seemed like the universe attempted to throw a bunch of signs our way. Hubby got a full time job downtown and wouldn’t require to travel to the other end of town. Our landlord came in and fixed the initial issues in our current place, and with me going on maternity leave in only 2 months I wouldn’t need to travel far either from where we are. I started to realize all these factors that were influencing our move initially are no longer factors at all.
Now I have faith that the universe is pushing me in the right direction and I firmly believe this has all happened for a reason, which seemed disappointing at first but I realized that this is how it should be, and we will be just fine. Follow the signs, the universe is trying to tell you something. I was so determined to push through and move no matter what that I was letting that must all/be all goal cloud my judgement and inhibit me from seeing that we can be perfectly content with what we already have (maybe with a little TLC).
Literally to the second, since I had that big realization it felt like a huge weight was lifted from my chest. Weeks of stress and worry were just gone. Now I am in full blown nesting mode, getting the baby’s room ready, patching up and repainting walls, hell I even re-caulked the bathroom! Packing everything up was great because it forced us to go through everything and throw out or donate unused furniture. Now we only have what we use day to day and what we need.
Lesson learned: sometimes you have a plan but things don’t work out. Try to be accepting of the changes and understand that everything is as it should be and that you can be happy with what you have. I always find myself wanting or yearning for more, feeling discontent and restless. I have to teach myself everyday to value and appreciate what I have, the crave for change and my overall restlessness overpowered that. Everything we went through initially felt like a huge burden but it really turned out to be a blessing in disguise.