Follow the Signs

At first I was craving a fresh start, a clean slate in a nicer, newer house with my new baby. It wasn’t until things started falling apart that I realized I can be perfectly happy in what we already have. It’s easy to want new things and a clean slate but sometimes life just doesn’t work out that way and it smacks you back to reality.

After weeks of packing up our house and going from house showing to house showing, endless rental applications, credit checks, sleepless nights (and I literally mean 3-4 hours every night) we were really discouraged that we weren’t finding places to suit our needs or that would even match up to what we already have. Why leave a place to move to another that’s smaller, more expensive, and in a horrible area of town? We promised ourselves throughout this process that we wouldn’t settle and we would only move if we could find something better. It was all about relocating to the other end of town because we both work there and we’d be a little closer to family. In the end we found that we were settling, we were settling to the point that we would have moved forward with any place that would taken us, even if it meant moving to the worst area of town.

With two more weeks left before we were supposed to be out (and seemingly homeless), it seemed like the universe attempted to throw a bunch of signs our way. Hubby got a full time job downtown and wouldn’t require to travel to the other end of town. Our landlord came in and fixed the initial issues in our current place, and with me going on maternity leave in only 2 months I wouldn’t need to travel far either from where we are. I started to realize all these factors that were influencing our move initially are no longer factors at all.

Now I have faith that the universe is pushing me in the right direction and I firmly believe this has all happened for a reason, which seemed disappointing at first but I realized that this is how it should be, and we will be just fine. Follow the signs, the universe is trying to tell you something. I was so determined to push through and move no matter what that I was letting that must all/be all goal cloud my judgement and inhibit me from seeing that we can be perfectly content with what we already have (maybe with a little TLC).

Literally to the second, since I had that big realization it felt like a huge weight was lifted from my chest. Weeks of stress and worry were just gone. Now I am in full blown nesting mode, getting the baby’s room ready, patching up and repainting walls, hell I even re-caulked the bathroom! Packing everything up was great because it forced us to go through everything and throw out or donate unused furniture. Now we only have what we use day to day and what we need.

Lesson learned: sometimes you have a plan but things don’t work out. Try to be accepting of the changes and understand that everything is as it should be and that you can be happy with what you have. I always find myself wanting or yearning for more, feeling discontent and restless. I have to teach myself everyday to value and appreciate what I have, the crave for change and my overall restlessness overpowered that. Everything we went through initially felt like a huge burden but it really turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Follow. The. Signs.


Being Natural with Baby

In the last year I have managed to incorporate natural foods and items into my daily routine. I’ve managed to make all my own cleaning supplies, some of my toiletries, and replaced other beauty products with natural organic products (such as makeup, shampoos, moisturizers, etc.) Of course I have wanted to continue this lifestyle with my growing family and I’ve been thinking of ways I plan incorporate this lifestyle into my baby’s as well. Not only is this going to help us so much financially but I’ll feel good about doing it, in knowing that my child wont be exposed to nasty toxins and chemicals at such a young age.

Cloth Diapers, Wipes, and Inserts

This one is huge! Diapers are so expensive! They are also so full of chemicals. Yes, they are convenient and you don’t have to worry about touching a yucky mess longer than you have to, but in the end you are spending hundreds of dollars a month. I would rather get my hands dirty and spend one upfront cost of $400 than hundreds of dollars every couple months. From the research I have done on cloth diapering children tend to potty train sooner and there is less diaper rash and blow outs. Also with our waste-free adventure we are trying to limit the waste leaving our house and going to the landfill.

Burt’s Bees Baby Line/DIY Baby Toiletries

I love my Burt’s! I use their products regularly and I’m totally comfortable using their baby line. They have all the basics like moisturizers, baby oils, bath wash, dusting powder, diaper rash cream etc. Anything I don’t buy from them I can also make myself!

Making your own Baby Food

When the time is right, hopefully I will be breast feeding as long as I can. However if babe does start to show interest in food then making your own is KEY. No preservatives, no additives, just straight, healthy, natural, food. If it can be organic, even better! Also once again, hugely cost saving. It’s possible to make a months worth of baby food for $30-$50.

Breast Feeding/Organic Formula (if not an option)

Breast really is best! If I can breast feed without any issues (that’s the goal) then I plan to. If I can’t for some reason then I plan to use the best organic formula I can find. This wont be as cost efficient as breast feeding (considering breast milk is obviously free) but in the end I feel like its important to not skimp on baby formula if that’s the route you have to go.

Wooden Teethers & Amber Necklaces

So far I am not liking the idea of pacifiers but I am really going to just have to see if I need to go that route with my girl. When the teething stage comes I would like to attempt to use more natural teethers instead of plastics.

Attempting to use Natural, Organic Cottons/Bamboo

Obviously I know my baby won’t be only wearing or using organic cottons. But some things can be switched out like crib sheets, even an organic crib mattress, swaddle blankets, etc.

Attempting to Eliminate Unnecessary Plastics

This is kinda a tough one because there are so many baby products and toys that are plastic, and why wouldn’t they be? Durable and long lasting, its not like you would give your 1 year old a glass cup and plate. In the end I would like to still try to replace what I can with plastic free products. Some things are “a must” obviously but certain things can be considered like storing pre-made baby food into glass containers instead of plastic, BPA free tableware and bottles, etc.

Essential Oil Diffusers

Baby can benefit from aromatherapy too. We plan to use a oil diffuser with Lavender before bed to help calm baby and help her sleep. Considering she will be sleeping in our room for the first little bit we will also benefit from it too!

Baby Wearing

An ANCIENT practice. What the women in tribes did thousands of years ago. Not only is it efficient but great for mom and baby. Mom can still get things done and baby can be at ease and close. Its a great practice with attachment parenting and you can wear your baby up until the toddler years.

For Mom: Postpartum Health
(assuming a natural birth)

  • Healthy Meals, Hormone Balancing Teas, Lactation Teas
  • Lots of Water*
  • Essential Oils
  • Salt Water Baths/Sitz Baths, Padcicles (Witch Hazel & Aloe)
  • DIY/Natural Toiletries (Nipple Cream, Coconut Oil, etc.)

I don’t like being pregnant.

After waking up and feeling a bit queasy I spent $3 and went to work, only to run off the bus, throw up, walk to work, throw up again in the bathroom, then spend $35 just to cab home. Waste of time, waste of a day, waste of money. On top of that feeling frustrated I can’t just have a normal day, ashamed that I felt like I was disappointing my fellow employees, and annoyed knowing my pay check will be crap. After 6 months the novelty has worn off. I’m going to say it and I am not ashamed whatsoever, I don’t like being pregnant.

Don’t get me wrong, I am SO EXCITED to meet my daughter and be a mom. Creating life really is a beautiful concept, but the process itself for some is just not enjoyable. On top of the typical symptoms like back pain, constipation, cramps, baby brain, hormonal mood swings and just feeling all around shitty, I am also still dealing with constant morning sickness (which decides to come sporadically in the day as well as right after I wake up).

I’m sure for most women the fun wears off around the 8th/9th month, but I’m going to be real and say its been a battle for me to try to enjoy this right from the beginning. When people ask if I am planning on having another I want to give them a swift punch to the gut. “Oh but after you’re holding your baby you wont be thinking about all the pain and heartache!”, they say. My only reply is “I’m sure as hell going to remember throwing up everyday, multiple times a day for 9 months”. The 20-40 hours of labor is one thing, tough it up and push that baby out! But dealing with daily morning sickness for almost a year is literally an emotional battle. Some days I wake up feeling strong and capable “Oh what? 3 more months, whatever I’ve come this far!” and others I lay in bed all day, cry, wondering when I will finally feel like my normal self again.

I am tired of complaining to my family and friends as I am sure they are tired of hearing the same thing everyday. At the same time, I feel like its difficult to take advice from someone who really doesn’t understand how you feel as they did not experience the same symptoms as you, especially to this magnitude. It’s been increasingly easy to isolate myself and push away others. Also with all our family being so spaced around the province I am starting to realize we will be getting less family support than we thought.

Lately it has felt a lot worse because of the added stress of trying to move. We have yet to find a place to live and need to be out by the end of the month. Laying awake at night staring at the ceiling for hours wondering if we are going to have a place to go or be homeless. It has all taken a toll, my morning sickness feels like its going rampant and the lack of sleep is only making me feel worse. Lesson learned; stress just makes you sicker!

Guys, pregnancy sucks. I said it, I’m not ashamed. I’m sure its better for some people but for me, its been half a year of staring down the bottom of my toilet. I know its all worth it in the end and I can’t wait to meet my girl, but damn, this has definitely been the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.