Becoming a Mother Changes You

I hear this all the time..and to me its crazy to think how I haven’t even given birth yet and I can already feel these changes. Not only is my physical body changing at rocket speed day to day but I can sense the changes in my emotional self as well.

For one I just don’t have time for others negativity. I’m at this point in my life where I feel as though I am going through something that’s difficult for me. PREGNANCY has been difficult for me in general. Dealing with HG, going on sick leave, etc. There were times where I felt like I couldn’t even take care of myself properly yet alone deal with other peoples problems or crappy attitudes.

I needed to be surrounded by supportive and encouraging people. I had some people in my family tell me I wouldn’t be able to support this baby or that I wasn’t ready. The most logical thing to do in my perspective was to distance myself from them as the LAST thing I needed was my own family emotionally tearing me down when I was already in such a negative state. Didn’t they understand that this is my first child, my first experience? Didn’t they understand that this wasn’t something we planned and I am scared shitless to give birth or be a mom? I chose to surround myself with other supportive family and friends and the remainder of my pregnancy has been so much more positive.

A part of me knows this new found attitude is going to just continue after the baby comes. If you don’t have something nice to say, then keep it yourself, cause I don’t have the time or the emotional energy to care about your negative opinions. I do what I can to better myself everyday and I don’t need everyone’s approval and constant permission. In the end I am going to do whatever I can everyday to make sure my baby is taken care of and get what she needs

Going hand in hand with that you learn you may loose people in the process. Most people are not at the same life stage as you, their priorities are different. Most people don’t understand how much a baby actually changes your life. We were sort of thrown into parenthood only weeks after our honeymoon (something we had to seriously adjust to). Those couple relaxing years we were planning for to focus on things we wanted to do and each other was put right to the back burner.

My husband’s focus shifted to my well-being and being at home with his family (and that’s unlikely to change after the baby comes as well). Obviously some people don’t realize that he doesn’t want to stay out till all hours of the night drinking with his 35 week pregnant wife at home, or soon to be newborn. His priorities have changed drastically and even though I am so thankful to have a partner who goes out of his way to put me and his family first everyday, other friends may not see it as so and may feel bitter or somewhat betrayed. All I can say is someday when they are about to bring a life into the world, its all they are going to care about at the time as well…and they will finally understand.

All and all, in the end the most important thing to you day to day is your child. Are they healthy? Are you prepared? Do you have what you need? Are they happy? Are you taking care of yourself? Cause lets be honest, how can you take care of a baby if you aren’t making yourself a priority too. When all these things are the only things you think about other people’s crappy attitudes or lack of understanding is the last thing you need weighing you down. Truth is, you just don’t need it in your life and its okay to choose to distance yourself from that.

I’m now 35 weeks and 4 days along and I also wanted to share my favorites from our maternity shoot. Done by our amazing photographer Vanessa Marie Dewsbury who did our engagement and wedding photography as well!

Vanessa is also a Reiki Master and all around natural healing enthusiast! She is also a fellow blogger with an amazingly insightful blog called
The Sensitive Soul

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2 thoughts on “Becoming a Mother Changes You

  1. Nana Hayes

    Nicely said Haleigh you Justin and your baby are the most important part of life right now. You have family that loves and supports the both of you. I’m not around the corner but am there if you need us. Enjoy the changes that are happening in your life run with it and enjoy it. I know that you and Justin will be wonderful parents. The love you share will pour even more when Cedar arrives and I can’t wait to meet her. Love you both so much hang in there

    Like

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