The Third Trimester

I’d like to say it just gets easier..some people were telling me they felt the best in their third trimester. Unfortunately you tend to get more and more uncomfortable day by day. I’m now 30 weeks along, celebrating 212 days of pregnancy, celebrating the magnificent life that my body is growing. The only good thing so far coming into my third trimester is that time is literally flying by now. In a short 10 weeks I will be staring into my girl’s eyes in awe of what I created and what I have been through. It really feels like there’s a huge bright light at the end of this long, trying, tunnel.

Our first doctors appointment after finding out the gender we found out she was in breech. It was a little worrisome but she has weeks to turn before we really needed to be concerned. In the end I was trusting that if I was meant to have a C-section it would be the safest option and I was totally open to that. Of course a natural birth is what we want but it really comes down to whatever the safer option is at the time.

I was also feeling SO sick, it felt like my first trimester all over, literally. Exhausted, nausea, back to throwing up multiple times a day…It was discouraging because I was only back to work full-time for a little over a month and I was STILL missing shifts, having to go home early, etc. I couldn’t possibly be this cursed right? RIGHT! Truth is, I still wasn’t finding a routine that was working for me.

It wasn’t until my next monthly doctors appointment that we found out I was insanely anemic. It was bittersweet to know that this was something that could be easily fixed and not something that “I just need to deal with”. So I altered my diet to include even more iron rich foods (even more red meat, even though I don’t eat it often) and I’m currently taking iron supplements. I can honestly say, even after only a few days I felt a lot of my energy return and I got some colour back in what was my pale and sickly looking face. We also found out that our girl is no longer in breech and shes head down, which is amazing news! As long as our little acrobat doesn’t flip back around between now and 36 weeks, then we can hopefully assume a natural birth.

My work and my doctor also suggested that I cut my hours down to “half shifts”. Along with taking iron supplements, THIS was the life saver for me. My job is unfortunately so physically demanding for an 8 hour shift that I was pushing myself way too hard and causing myself to be sick day to day. If I wasn’t throwing up on the bus I was throwing up as soon as I walked in the door to my house. As soon as I started working half shifts it was like a complete 180. I was no longer pushing myself harder than I could handle and I was no longer sick coming home. Lets be honest, when you are sick every morning no matter what..even the smallest bit of relief for the afternoon or evening make it all a little more bearable.

When it’s more bearable you can enjoy and take notice in the little things. Instead of little bumps, punches or kicks, she has full on squirming sessions in there. Sometimes I find myself just staring at my stomach watching her move and wondering what shes doing. She’s big enough that I can feel where she is sitting in my belly and I can even feel things like hiccups. Other then some random days of nasty back pain and my daily dose of morning sickness I have been pretty lucky not to have many other horrible third trimester symptoms. My squeamishness with certain foods and meats has completely disappeared! Except coffee…I was able to drink a cup of coffee a day through most of my second trimester but now I am just completely turned off by it. Matcha has been my substitute (Thanks to my best friend who has been supplying my tea habit). I am still FRUIT OBSESSED. While at the beginning it was a lot of apples and grapes its transitioned to melons and pineapples. I’m not going to lie I treat myself to ice cream and a good poutine from the pub every once in a while as well. I’m also going to be brutally honest and say that now that the weather is getting a lot nicer, I am seriously missing beer. Patio beers, a cold tall boy with dinner at home, you name it.


Some other news, me and Justin decided to (hopefully) do a vlog of the birth. As long as everything is complication free and we aren’t surprised with an early labor, then we are definitely going to try. It’s just getting closer and closer! I will be doing one more blog post about my pregnancy closer to full term.

A woman’s body is truly fascinating, the entire process and what it goes through from beginning to end. Creating life but also keeping it safe. Even though this entire process hasn’t been the easiest for me I am still so proud of what I have grown. I’m a little freaked out with my upcoming postpartum experience but I feel like it really comes down to me just being nervous about something I have never experienced before and only having an idea of what to expect. But I am so lucky to have such a supportive husband and supportive family to help me through it.


Follow the Signs

At first I was craving a fresh start, a clean slate in a nicer, newer house with my new baby. It wasn’t until things started falling apart that I realized I can be perfectly happy in what we already have. It’s easy to want new things and a clean slate but sometimes life just doesn’t work out that way and it smacks you back to reality.

After weeks of packing up our house and going from house showing to house showing, endless rental applications, credit checks, sleepless nights (and I literally mean 3-4 hours every night) we were really discouraged that we weren’t finding places to suit our needs or that would even match up to what we already have. Why leave a place to move to another that’s smaller, more expensive, and in a horrible area of town? We promised ourselves throughout this process that we wouldn’t settle and we would only move if we could find something better. It was all about relocating to the other end of town because we both work there and we’d be a little closer to family. In the end we found that we were settling, we were settling to the point that we would have moved forward with any place that would taken us, even if it meant moving to the worst area of town.

With two more weeks left before we were supposed to be out (and seemingly homeless), it seemed like the universe attempted to throw a bunch of signs our way. Hubby got a full time job downtown and wouldn’t require to travel to the other end of town. Our landlord came in and fixed the initial issues in our current place, and with me going on maternity leave in only 2 months I wouldn’t need to travel far either from where we are. I started to realize all these factors that were influencing our move initially are no longer factors at all.

Now I have faith that the universe is pushing me in the right direction and I firmly believe this has all happened for a reason, which seemed disappointing at first but I realized that this is how it should be, and we will be just fine. Follow the signs, the universe is trying to tell you something. I was so determined to push through and move no matter what that I was letting that must all/be all goal cloud my judgement and inhibit me from seeing that we can be perfectly content with what we already have (maybe with a little TLC).

Literally to the second, since I had that big realization it felt like a huge weight was lifted from my chest. Weeks of stress and worry were just gone. Now I am in full blown nesting mode, getting the baby’s room ready, patching up and repainting walls, hell I even re-caulked the bathroom! Packing everything up was great because it forced us to go through everything and throw out or donate unused furniture. Now we only have what we use day to day and what we need.

Lesson learned: sometimes you have a plan but things don’t work out. Try to be accepting of the changes and understand that everything is as it should be and that you can be happy with what you have. I always find myself wanting or yearning for more, feeling discontent and restless. I have to teach myself everyday to value and appreciate what I have, the crave for change and my overall restlessness overpowered that. Everything we went through initially felt like a huge burden but it really turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Follow. The. Signs.

Being Natural with Baby

In the last year I have managed to incorporate natural foods and items into my daily routine. I’ve managed to make all my own cleaning supplies, some of my toiletries, and replaced other beauty products with natural organic products (such as makeup, shampoos, moisturizers, etc.) Of course I have wanted to continue this lifestyle with my growing family and I’ve been thinking of ways I plan incorporate this lifestyle into my baby’s as well. Not only is this going to help us so much financially but I’ll feel good about doing it, in knowing that my child wont be exposed to nasty toxins and chemicals at such a young age.

Cloth Diapers, Wipes, and Inserts

This one is huge! Diapers are so expensive! They are also so full of chemicals. Yes, they are convenient and you don’t have to worry about touching a yucky mess longer than you have to, but in the end you are spending hundreds of dollars a month. I would rather get my hands dirty and spend one upfront cost of $400 than hundreds of dollars every couple months. From the research I have done on cloth diapering children tend to potty train sooner and there is less diaper rash and blow outs. Also with our waste-free adventure we are trying to limit the waste leaving our house and going to the landfill.

Burt’s Bees Baby Line/DIY Baby Toiletries

I love my Burt’s! I use their products regularly and I’m totally comfortable using their baby line. They have all the basics like moisturizers, baby oils, bath wash, dusting powder, diaper rash cream etc. Anything I don’t buy from them I can also make myself!

Making your own Baby Food

When the time is right, hopefully I will be breast feeding as long as I can. However if babe does start to show interest in food then making your own is KEY. No preservatives, no additives, just straight, healthy, natural, food. If it can be organic, even better! Also once again, hugely cost saving. It’s possible to make a months worth of baby food for $30-$50.

Breast Feeding/Organic Formula (if not an option)

Breast really is best! If I can breast feed without any issues (that’s the goal) then I plan to. If I can’t for some reason then I plan to use the best organic formula I can find. This wont be as cost efficient as breast feeding (considering breast milk is obviously free) but in the end I feel like its important to not skimp on baby formula if that’s the route you have to go.

Wooden Teethers & Amber Necklaces

So far I am not liking the idea of pacifiers but I am really going to just have to see if I need to go that route with my girl. When the teething stage comes I would like to attempt to use more natural teethers instead of plastics.

Attempting to use Natural, Organic Cottons/Bamboo

Obviously I know my baby won’t be only wearing or using organic cottons. But some things can be switched out like crib sheets, even an organic crib mattress, swaddle blankets, etc.

Attempting to Eliminate Unnecessary Plastics

This is kinda a tough one because there are so many baby products and toys that are plastic, and why wouldn’t they be? Durable and long lasting, its not like you would give your 1 year old a glass cup and plate. In the end I would like to still try to replace what I can with plastic free products. Some things are “a must” obviously but certain things can be considered like storing pre-made baby food into glass containers instead of plastic, BPA free tableware and bottles, etc.

Essential Oil Diffusers

Baby can benefit from aromatherapy too. We plan to use a oil diffuser with Lavender before bed to help calm baby and help her sleep. Considering she will be sleeping in our room for the first little bit we will also benefit from it too!

Baby Wearing

An ANCIENT practice. What the women in tribes did thousands of years ago. Not only is it efficient but great for mom and baby. Mom can still get things done and baby can be at ease and close. Its a great practice with attachment parenting and you can wear your baby up until the toddler years.

For Mom: Postpartum Health
(assuming a natural birth)

  • Healthy Meals, Hormone Balancing Teas, Lactation Teas
  • Lots of Water*
  • Essential Oils
  • Salt Water Baths/Sitz Baths, Padcicles (Witch Hazel & Aloe)
  • DIY/Natural Toiletries (Nipple Cream, Coconut Oil, etc.)

I don’t like being pregnant.

After waking up and feeling a bit queasy I spent $3 and went to work, only to run off the bus, throw up, walk to work, throw up again in the bathroom, then spend $35 just to cab home. Waste of time, waste of a day, waste of money. On top of that feeling frustrated I can’t just have a normal day, ashamed that I felt like I was disappointing my fellow employees, and annoyed knowing my pay check will be crap. After 6 months the novelty has worn off. I’m going to say it and I am not ashamed whatsoever, I don’t like being pregnant.

Don’t get me wrong, I am SO EXCITED to meet my daughter and be a mom. Creating life really is a beautiful concept, but the process itself for some is just not enjoyable. On top of the typical symptoms like back pain, constipation, cramps, baby brain, hormonal mood swings and just feeling all around shitty, I am also still dealing with constant morning sickness (which decides to come sporadically in the day as well as right after I wake up).

I’m sure for most women the fun wears off around the 8th/9th month, but I’m going to be real and say its been a battle for me to try to enjoy this right from the beginning. When people ask if I am planning on having another I want to give them a swift punch to the gut. “Oh but after you’re holding your baby you wont be thinking about all the pain and heartache!”, they say. My only reply is “I’m sure as hell going to remember throwing up everyday, multiple times a day for 9 months”. The 20-40 hours of labor is one thing, tough it up and push that baby out! But dealing with daily morning sickness for almost a year is literally an emotional battle. Some days I wake up feeling strong and capable “Oh what? 3 more months, whatever I’ve come this far!” and others I lay in bed all day, cry, wondering when I will finally feel like my normal self again.

I am tired of complaining to my family and friends as I am sure they are tired of hearing the same thing everyday. At the same time, I feel like its difficult to take advice from someone who really doesn’t understand how you feel as they did not experience the same symptoms as you, especially to this magnitude. It’s been increasingly easy to isolate myself and push away others. Also with all our family being so spaced around the province I am starting to realize we will be getting less family support than we thought.

Lately it has felt a lot worse because of the added stress of trying to move. We have yet to find a place to live and need to be out by the end of the month. Laying awake at night staring at the ceiling for hours wondering if we are going to have a place to go or be homeless. It has all taken a toll, my morning sickness feels like its going rampant and the lack of sleep is only making me feel worse. Lesson learned; stress just makes you sicker!

Guys, pregnancy sucks. I said it, I’m not ashamed. I’m sure its better for some people but for me, its been half a year of staring down the bottom of my toilet. I know its all worth it in the end and I can’t wait to meet my girl, but damn, this has definitely been the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.

The Truth about my Marriage

We Learned How to Argue

Let’s face it, everyone argues differently. Some people want their space, some people want to deal with it right then and there. Realistically it just takes time to get to know someone well enough to know how to handle them or a rising issue. After 3 years together we learned how to argue. Arguing is inevitable, its going to happen if and when. Arguing is actually healthy in a relationship if you know how to do it properly. Bottling things up inside will only make the anger grow and soon there will be a crap load of resentment there. We try not to say things that are mean or that we know will purposefully upset each other and we try to voice our concerns without a tone. Let’s just say it takes a lot of thought and calm, but you get a much more rewarding end result from it. Sometimes when you’re mad, you’re mad and you just need your space; we can respect that too.

We Support Each Others Dreams

Sometimes he’s gone for weeks at a time, some nights he’s at the studio, some nights he’s at band practice or has a local gig. What can I say? He’s a busy guy, but I support his passions and dreams even when I may not be too happy about missing him for weeks. At the same time he supported me through the majority of my design schooling, crying fits, all-nighters, and even now to this day I have changed my career path and he’s continuously supporting me with that. In the end we know it’s what makes the other happy and we relish in that. All we want to do is see each other succeed.

We Have The Same Family Values

This really helps in any relationship. We believe in family time and doing things together. When it comes to raising our daughter we have the same views on how she should be brought up and what our family dynamic will be. Obviously being new parents a lot of things we will learn along the way but it’s nice not to worry about a difference of opinion when it comes to core family values.

We Respect Alone Time

As much as we love each other and love spending all our time together we both know alone time is important too. It’s important not to completely envelope in each others lives and to focus on your own personal needs as well. We can be in the same house but be in completely different rooms doing our own thing and nothing will be taken personally. He knows he can always go out with his friends and he will always allow me to go have some girl time when I need it. We know we always have each other to come back to at home. Dinner has always been an important time for us so we generally make sure we are together for that when we can be. Devoted time to each other is important but space is equally important.

We Don’t Take Each Other for Granted

This pretty much goes hand in hand with appreciation and respect. We each bring our own qualities to the table. I value the small things he does for me everyday and it goes hand in hand with him. Saying “thank you” or just acknowledging little things goes a long way. When you feel appreciated you have no problem with continuing your effort.

We Balance Each Other

He’s the Ying to my Yang. I’m the introvert and he’s the extrovert. While we are similar in many ways and have the same interests when it comes to our personalities we are almost polar opposites. I always have believed this is for the better. He’s extremely social and has endless amounts of friends and acquaintances, while I prefer to be at home and have few but extremely strong friendships. We balance each other out in different ways as well. I tend to manage all the budgeting and business tasks while he tends to deal more with the social tasks (something that I usually dread doing). I found that he has a new appreciation to being at home with our family but at the same time he also completely pushes me to break out of my shell in public.

We Take Interest

We take interests in the others interests. I am always floored when I see how talented he is with music because I know that’s something I could never do (I’ve never been musically inclined). At the same time he was always so encouraging with my design work and loved showing it off to anyone that would see. I love seeing his face when I came home and he tells me he made another song and wants to show me. These are his passions just as when I get excited about something I have done the first thing I want to do is show him. If you don’t take interest in what your partner is doing then don’t expect them to take an interest in you.

We Work as a Team

We each take on chores, laundry, cleaning, cooking. If I am working late and he’s home he will make dinner. If he’s at work and I’m home I’ll do the laundry. When I have been sick and bed ridden in this pregnancy he took on more chores and cooking. We both try to pull our own weight and when the other needs help we are there whether it’s emotionally or physically. We really try not to have everything fall on one person.

We Trust Each Other

Do you know how nice it is to be in a relationship where there is complete trust? Considering this is the first relationship ever where I never have to worry. Trust was never just there at the beginning it took years to build and get to this point. It took mistakes and forgiveness along the way. In the end, we tell each other where we are all the time and we know we are always coming home to each other. We can pick up the others phone or see their social media account and be worry-free. This allows us to just be in our relationship and focus on more important things.

We Stay Open to New Things

You have to roll with the punches. Do you think we expected to get pregnant a week after our honeymoon? Nope! But hey, we rolled with it. We both understand that life happens and we have each other to lean on during stressful times. Life is always moving forward. If you aren’t open to new things or a new adventure then life will remain stagnant and unchanging. Where’s the fun in that?

We Acknowledge Our Mistakes

In the end, when we are having an argument or we know we are doing something that is upsetting the other, “sorry” goes a long way. Without acknowledging your mistakes you cant move forward and there’s no forgiveness. Eventually you just hold it all in and get bitter and resentful. We don’t say sorry unless we mean it and in the end we always make an effort to forgive and move on from it.

We Don’t “Expect” Things

Some things are expected. I expect that he will tell me where he goes and when we plans to come home or I expect that he won’t leave a huge mess at home for me to clean up. These are typical things that are expected out of respect for each other. BUT we don’t just start expecting the other to know what we want and how we feel. We voice it. As soon as you start to just expect your partner to  just know what you are feeling or what you want then you’re just going to get upset if he/she just doesn’t clue into your cues and you’ll be wondering why they don’t care. If you’re upset about something, say it. If you’re unhappy, voice it. Nothing can be changed if its not acknowledged.


I’m no relationship guru. I’m in no way trying to brag about how great my relationship is. The truth about my marriage is that it’s hard work, but it’s hard work you are willing to put in and that’s what we go out of our way to do everyday. It pays off in the end, you have someone who appreciates you, trusts you, respects you, and brings you joy. I am lucky I have found someone who cares enough to put the effort in and that it’s not a one way street. The truth is I couldn’t see myself doing life with anyone else and I only get excited thinking about our life with our daughter in the years to come.


The Art of doing Nothing: 20 Weeks of Pregnancy

Have you ever watched or read Eat Pray Love? One of my favorite scenes is when she’s in Italy and learns the phrase “la dolce far niente” in Italian which means “the art of doing nothing” or “the sweetness in doing nothing”. As I’ve been coming to the end of my time off work I feel as though I have mastered this very mind set. I’m going to be honest and say I had no idea how stressed and anxious I actually was until I was physically removed from my work environment and had a solid two months to focus on my health. Focusing on my health eventually lead to a realization that for the longest time I wasn’t truly loving myself. It was always go, go, go, be productive, don’t be lazy. What I was really doing was running myself into the ground. Stress headaches were an everyday occurrence, trouble sleeping. I’m sure like most people, I couldn’t shut my mind off at night.

After being diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum and going through 3 months of hell, not leaving my bed, and loosing 15 pounds my energy started to return. My Ah Ha! moment was when I was standing in my kitchen at 11:30 in the morning (drinking my 1 allotted cup of coffee a day) just leaning against the counter talking to my husband while he was making himself breakfast and I felt totally content. I was completely happy with just standing there soaking in and appreciating the moment when normally I would be planning the 50 things that I would need to do that day. The phrase “enjoy the little things” took on a whole new meaning in my life. Before when I was stressed I was just doing whatever I had to do to just get through the day and make it to tomorrow. Daily enjoyment was slowly slipping away with a stiff routine.

I learned there needs to be a balance between productivity and self-love. Its about making time for everyday chores and also time for yourself. This time to myself opened up my routine to things like meditation, yoga, reading more, even doing things like napping just because I can! (cause God knows I won’t be sleeping much when the babe comes). With my free time I was able to put more time into meal planning, exploring different healthier recipes, clean eating. Especially after finding out I was pregnant I wanted to eat the best I can and give my babe the best. I also wanted to make sure I didn’t gain an unreal amount of baby weight at the end of 9 months. Clean eating has actually been easy because most of my cravings have included mass amounts fresh fruits and vegetables, pancakes, and yogurt. And when I say mass amounts of fruits I’m not kidding…it gets eaten quick. When I’m craving something savory, which isn’t to often, its poutine or fries (specifically sweet potato fries). When I want something for that sweet tooth I made my own apple crisp with the bags (and I mean BAGS) of apples we buy. I’m really lucky that my husband is being so open to try new things and eat better along with me.

These meals here included stuffed peppers with quinoa and grilled vegetables, cabbage “steaks”, and healthy pancakes made with oats, greek yogurt, banana, and blueberries.

When it came to my 4th month of pregnancy I was finally in a place where I could start to enjoy it. I was noticing my nails were rock hard and growing like crazy, along with my hair. I was nesting hardcore but because we are in the process of moving I couldn’t nest! Nesting turned to packing, which isn’t horrible because we are now super prepared for when we do move in a month or so. I know once we are in the new place I will be right back into nesting and getting the nursery ready. It wasn’t until about week 17/18 that I started peeing like a race horse and feelings movements and kicks constantly.

OH HEY we also found out the gender

We were pretty certain for a long time because EVERY gender myth you’ve heard when it comes to a girl was my situation. Hyperemesis gravidarum, I am squeamish with meat, craving sugar, higher bpm during our doctor check ups. It all pointed to a bouncing baby girl and we were right!

I’m officially half way through my pregnancy and its crazy to think that in 20 more weeks we will have our little gremlin here. Sometimes it still randomly hits me like a ton of bricks that I’m creating a tiny human. My one goal with going back to work is to not allow myself to get into a stressed out routine similar to what I put myself in before. I don’t want to forget this content feeling.

A Fork in the Road

At one point in everyone’s life we come to a fork in the road. Do we go left or right? Or is it not so simple? Not everything can be classified into black or white, some decisions are a lot harder, especially when it comes to career choices. Lately its been something I have been thinking of a lot more since we know we have a baby on the way. I really want the best for my child and a solid career will definitely help that and get us to where we want to be with buying our first home and financial security.

Originally the plan was to go back to school after my maternity leave and pursue Kitchen and Bath Design as I have already done 3 years of an Interior Design course, but after realizing that it would 4-5 years until I am certified and really making money I started to consider other options. Not to mention the field is so competitive and usually requires a big move to a big city like Toronto. Realistically me and hubby want to eventually buy our first home and 4-5 years of certification and exams just seemed way to long when it comes to where we want to be in life.

Now, I am the type of person where I need to know what I am working towards…If I don’t have an understanding of that and my future goals then I feel totally lost and stressed out. I didn’t want to just “give up” on design after putting years of effort and money into my education but I knew I wanted to be out and making money QUICK and still dedicating myself to something I enjoy (I guess that’s everyone’s dream career, right?). I actually came across Event Management, its appealing because its a 1 year program, requires no certification, and there are tons of different avenues to go with it. Concerts, conferences, exhibits, weddings, recreational events, meetings, etc. There is always a demand and essentially the opportunity to eventually work for yourself.

I have also been considering getting certified as a Interior Decorator and Home Stager. Both are still in the “design” field and something I can handle or do freelance on the side. I would like to think that I am molding myself into a triple threat that dapples in everything I enjoy. The dream would be to one day work for myself! It sounds silly but I made pros and cons lists for both options (merely because that’s just how I organize my thoughts) and after long talks with my husband and parents I realized now is the time to make changes and prepare for the future. Okay, maybe not RIGHT now because I still have to have my baby and be a mommy, but there’s no harm in knowing what you are working towards. In the end I know I don’t want to work a minimum wage job for the rest of my life.

Changing a career path can be scary and completely out of your comfort zone but in the end you need to make the best decisions for yourself and family. When I was considering this new path I had an overwhelming calmness come over me, it just felt right in my gutt. Maybe I am naive thinking I can have my cake and eat it too when it comes to a career but I’d like to think that you should wake up everyday and enjoy your job, not dread doing it. I want to work to live not live to work. It really comes down to grabbing life by the horns and making the change to better yourself. There is nothing wrong with dedicating time to your own happiness.

So a fork in the road is a good thing. Take it for what it is and move forward. Feel good about your decisions and do whats best for yourself and family.